.

Its 12:52 in the morning and I should be sleeping by now for work tomorrow. I'm preparing for take off when I started praying. I actually didn't know what to say and where to start. But to my surprise, words came out like a vomit that I can't contain. Too many sorry, too many regrets, too many guilt and much more of seeking help.

Today I read somewhere that changing a bad habit will start from Self awareness. I was stunned and oblivious to agree. Is it? Or not? I guess that's right.

Acknowledging ones weakness is the enemy of every human being. We always want to fit in, we always want a label, we always want to do what the culture dictates, we always want validation, Why? Because we are too scared of WHAT WE REALLY ARE.

We don't have much love for ourselves, we don't recognize our opinion, we don't pursue our passion, Why? Because we are too afraid to be JUDGED.

All this time I realized that I was wasting a lot of myself on the wrong things. A lot of blessings that I could have shared, a lot of understanding that I could have given, a lot of acceptance that I could have spread and A LOT MORE OF THE REAL ME.

Awareness, it hits me right through my core. One word, nine letters, big impact.

Tonight I listened to what my heart really wants. I found purpose in darkness. Amidst the absence of light, I found peace, I found clarity, I was able to walk by letting go, I felt loved, I got another chance by making things right and I saw the light directing me to the right path.

Be your own light. There is no dead end if you are willing to find another way. Chance is limitless, you will never run out of it. You are kind deep through that darkness. You are amazing, just exactly for what you are. Beautiful is just an adjective, you don't need one because you have a heart - use it. Think deep and let go. Go for your dreams - it's never too late. Pursue your passion. Feed your soul. Always be grateful. Make friends with people who will accept you. Eat healthy - You don't want to miss your grandson's first walk don't you? Don't let yourself down, others will do that for you(so be strong and steady). And always PRAY, LISTEN AND CHANGE FOR THE BETTER.